Late Night Honest Thoughts

Maybe it’s the breadth of random topics that work their way through my brain late at night, or maybe it’s the way I have found myself capable of turning the most seemingly disconnected things into a philosophical argument, but most of my blog posts get written in the early A.M. This one is no exception.

Somehow as I was laying here in bed I ended up with a Nickelback song stuck in my head, which does not happen very often, mostly because I only know one. But as the lyric, “Say it if it’s worth saving me,” rolls through my head, I can’t help but think about all the people begging someone to answer that question tonight.

I have been thinking about things like this far more often since my recent rescue from depression. My head was in the right place but my body was not cooperating, and it was dragging my emotions down with it. That’s when Jesus stepped in and basically used one evening of intense crying to set me free. To Christians out there struggling with depression, I have this to say: You are not worth less because you are depressed. God is not mad at you for having depression. Depression is not who you are, and when you don’t have the strength to fight it, He fights for you.

But non-Christians with depression, and some Christians who are drifting away, don’t relate to God like I do. Many people get mad at Him and even hate Him because they can’t see light. And when those people ask if they are worth saving, they don’t hear the answer I got months before that night of freedom.

The answer from God’s side never changes. You are worth saving. He will never stop reaching out to you with His love. Darkness likes to shroud our view and keep us from seeing anything of value in ourselves and the world around us, but darkness is not the final answer. There is a light that always overcomes the darkness, if you’ll let it in.

You are worth saving, and no matter what you have done or will ever do, you always will be.

(You can look up Nickelback's song "Savin' Me" if you want, but I wanted to link to something more positive.)

I Am Not a Gift Wrap Elf

It’s time for another confession.

I am not a gift wrap elf.

Come Christmastime, every human who participates in the seasonal tradition of gift giving falls into two categories: gift wrap elves and gift wrap gremlins.

Elf (noun)

·        a supernatural creature of folk tales, typically represented as a small, elusive figure in human form with pointed ears and magical powers.

The gift wrap elves are always easy to spot. While they have learned how to hide their pointed ears and can disguise their bodies into any shape they choose, their magical power is always visible in their gift-wrapping skill. Corners are perfectly folded, paper is perfectly straight, and all ribbons are tied to perfection on any gift they give. Have an awkwardly-shaped gift? Give it to an elf you know and watch the magic work!

Grem·lin (noun, informal)

·        an imaginary mischievous sprite regarded as responsible for an unexplained problem or fault, especially a mechanical or electronic one.

Most of us, however, are gift wrap gremlins. There are varying degrees of gremlin, ranging from “slightly awkward penguin” to “help, the scotch tape is eating me!” Gifts wrapped by gremlins tend to have crooked paper and fewer decorations, mostly because hand-tied bows are the bane of our existences. Gifts from the scotch tape’s dinner, however, can be nearly unrecognizable as a present, leading many of these gremlins to pay an elf to wrap the gift for them. Fortunately for the sake of my wallet and the recipients of my gifts, I’m generally just an awkward penguin, but that doesn't make it any more fun to see one of my wrapping jobs next to that of an elf.

There really isn't much of a point to this post.

I mean, I could pull a mild Jesus Juke and say that God loves us all no matter how skilled we are at gift-wrapping (which is true). Or I could say that it’s the heart behind the gift that matters, not the skill with which it was wrapped (which is also true). But really I just wanted to make someone smile. Merry Christmas and have fun both wrapping and unwrapping gifts!

I AM: a song about Jesus

Written in February during my Excellencies of Christ class:

I AM

When you’re tired and lost, run to the cross

When you’re tired and lost, I AM (2x)

When your strength is gone and you can’t carry on

When your strength is gone, I AM (2x)

I AM

Yes, I AM

I AM one of you

And I AM (2x)

When your doubt and fear tell you I’m not here

Tell your doubt and fear I AM (2x)

Before you were, I AM

Before the earth, I AM

Before the world began

I AM, I AM (2x)

When you’re tired and lost, run to the cross

And you will find the man I AM

What God Lost

 “I want to be your companion just like in the garden, so if you’re searching for Eden, find it in Me.”

The above chorus is from a Misty Edwards song (the title of which I can’t remember or find). In EGS* tonight, this was the last song the team did. The last time we sang the chorus, Misty, who was leading, said something so simple and yet so profound: Sing it back to Him.

It’s so easy look at the Garden of Eden and see everything mankind lost, but when we focus on what we lost, we miss a major point. God lost something too. He lost the desire of His heart.

So I sang it back to Him, and as I sang it, I prayed in in my heart. “I want to be Your companion just like in the garden, so if You’re searching for Eden, find it in me. Find in me a heart that longs to fellowship with You. Find in me a beloved who loves You. Find in me a resting place. Find in my a heart that longs to worship You. Walk with me. Spend time with me. Let me be the one with whom You talk, with whom You share the secrets of Your heart.”

Open yourself up to Him, and as He gives you what you lost when mankind fell, give Him back what He lost. You will both be delighted you did.

*Encounter God Service – an International House of Prayer University class that is structured like a church service/class hybrid and is open to the public.

Man Killed God: The Political, Social, and Religious Dynamics Which Lead to the Crucifixion of Christ

(An essay written for my New Testament Survey class.)

Every specific event of world history – the building of the tower of Babel, the assassination of Julius Caesar, the abolition of slavery in Britain and her colonies – can trace its accomplishment to at least one of three basic influences: politics, society, and religion. For example, when slavery was abolished, it was due to evangelical Christians who believed that the social implications of slavery – the superior value of some people over others – went against the Bible’s teaching on the value of all mankind and acted politically on that belief. If one chooses an event from history and studies the culture in which that event happened, it is possible to see the part these three influences played in that event happening. This is what I will attempt in this paper. The purpose of this paper is to examine the political, social, and religious dynamics of the first century B.C. and how they combined to result in the crucifixion of Jesus of Nazareth. 

Politics in the area of Judea were rather complicated in Jesus’ day. The Jewish state had rarely been independent since 597 B.C., and had been under Roman rule since 37 B.C. Roman rule created tension between those who supported Rome, the Herodians; and those who hated Rome, the Zealots. At the time of Jesus’ ministry, Pontius Pilate was procurator of Judea and Herod Antipas was the tetrarch of Galilee. The political Sanhedrin, presided over by the High Priest, was also in power; however, its power was limited by the Roman government, and in John 18:31 it is made clear that at the time of Jesus’ death they did not have the power to execute a death sentence.

Jewish society and religion were closely linked in Jesus’ time, and were not altogether separate from politics, as the religious and political Sanhedrins were comprised of the wealthy religious leaders, and Judaism went beyond ordinary religions in that it was also the center of their education system.

The Jewish state into which Jesus was born was a social and political hotbed of longing for their Messiah. They had been given a taste of freedom under the Hasmoneans after the Maccabean Revolt. The second Hasmonean leader had even taken on the titles of both high priest and king, a distinction reserved for the Messiah. Ultimately, however, none of the Hasmonean dynasty fulfilled the Messianic prophesies written in the Jewish Torah.

Into this scene stepped Jesus, the true Messiah. And while there were many diverse ideas of who the messiah would be, no one was expecting a messiah like Jesus. While most Jewish expectation did revolve around some form of restoration, nearly every person’s expectancy involved restoring Israel and making her a free nation once again. That is why in John 11, the chief priests and Pharasees said, “If we let Him go on like this, everyone will believe in Him, and the Romans will come and take away both our place and our nation.” If enough Jews believed Jesus was the Messiah, His attempts at preventing the people from making Him king would not be enough to prevent a revolt against Rome. Then Rome would come in and, as was customary, remove all current leadership and set up new leaders who would be loyal to the State. Thus, the Sanhedrin’s only hope for maintaining its power was to have Jesus killed. Because they did not have the power to carry out a death sentence, they brought Him to Pontius Pilate.

A proconsul was appointed by the emperor and would remain in his office until as long as the emperor wanted him there. Because Pilate’s job security was based on keeping the emperor happy, Jesus’ accusers told Pilate that Jesus was forbidding tribute to Caesar and claiming to be a king. Pilate ultimately chose to sentence Jesus to crucifixion rather than risk his position because of the conflict.

While Jesus’ death on the cross was God’s sovereign plan for the redemption of man, God worked within natural human dynamics to complete it. He used the desires of both the Jewish and Roman leadership in Judea – desires to maintain their social standing and political power – and allowed man to kill the Word made flesh. This was a display of ultimate sovereignty and humility, and that is why it is not only possible, but also logical, to say that Jesus’ death was influence by society, politics, and religion.

Bibliography

Clough, Samuel. “Session 3: Setting the Scene – The Jewish Community” Class lecture for New Testament Survey, International House of Prayer University, Kansas City, MO, on October 21, 2014

Compelling Truth. “Who were the Herodians in the New Testament?” Last modification unknown. Accessed November 10, 2014. http://www.compellingtruth.org/Herodians.html

Compelling Truth. “Who were the Zealots in the New Testament?” Last modification unknown. Accessed November 10, 2014. http://www.compellingtruth.org/Zealots.html

JewishEncyclopedia.com. “Sanhedrin.” Last modification unknown. Accessed November 10, 2014. http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/articles/13178-sanhedrin

Luke. The Holy Bible: New International Version. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Bible Publishers, 2002.

Miller, Glen.  “Messianic Expectations in 1^st Century Judaism.” Last modified August 6, 1996. Accessed November 11, 2014. http://christianthinktank.com/messiah.html

Tenney, Merrill C. New Testament Survey. Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1985.

Whiston, William. The Works of Josephus.  Hendrickson Publishers, Inc., 1987.

The Question

(Draft 1. Written November 9th-10th.)

There’s this thing that the world often tries to tell me;

Day after day I stare in the face

Of a culture that truly believes

That my worth is the size of my waist.

And I know that You've told me the truth before,

So I close my eyes and remember the scene

You showed me yesterday, and I see Your

Face, the face of a human being.

I see the uncreated God becoming a man,

I see Your eyes and Your hair and Your smile

And the tiny fingernails on Your tiny hands;

This shouldn't have happened. It’s wild

That You would become what You made me to be,

That You’d grow up and live a human life –

Or, wilder still, that You’d die on a tree

When You are the One Who should never die.

And as I see these pictures in my mind

I know they speak the truth, but the fact is

Those pictures belong to days I’ve left behind

And yesterday’s joy isn’t always today’s bliss.

You made me desiring to know I have value,

But I have to be told that, and pop culture won’t

Tell me anything good about myself. All the while You

Are waiting for me to come to You, but I don’t

Because I forget that You made me need

To be told because You love telling me about

The worth You placed inside of me,

But when I forget I start to doubt.

So I once again come to the secret place,

I open my heart and I open Your word

And as I lean into You and I feel Your embrace

I once again ask, “Daddy…what am I worth?”

The Process

“I hate that God loves the process.”

I've heard that so many times from people who are wholeheartedly pursuing God. Heck, I've even said it myself more than a few times. It’s not that they or I am mad a God; it’s just that when we've made the same mistake for the twelve-thousandth time, it’s pretty easy to wish God would just take the desire for that sin away. I mean, if He can take away someone’s drug habit in an instant, why not do the same for our big sin struggles?

The answer you are most likely to hear around IHOP-KC is that God loves the process. He loves your heart as you are learning to love Him, and your weakness doesn't frustrate Him. But our weakness frustrates us, and often we just want to be perfect already.

“…the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies.”

- Romans 8:21-23 (NIV)

Guess what? That longing to be made perfect is biblical! All of creation, including us, is longing for Jesus to return and make all things new. But Paul continues in verse 25, “But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.” That’s the hard part – perseverance.

We're missing something

When you keep messing up, it’s pretty dang discouraging. And I don’t know about you, but for me, waiting with perseverance is much, much easier when I’m not discouraged. It takes God’s view of the process to keep the lies of the enemy from beating us down in our imperfection.

God gave the prophet Jeremiah a glimpse into His heart:

“Moreover the word of the Lord came to me, saying,

‘Go and cry in the hearing of Jerusalem, saying, “Thus says the Lord:

‘I remember you, the kindness of your youth, the love of your betrothal, when you went after Me in the wilderness, in a land not sown.”

- Jeremiah 2:1-2 (NKJV)

Let’s take a quick look at just a little of what Israel did in the wilderness, shall we? In Exodus 15, right after Moses and Miriam have finished praising God for deliverance from Egypt, the Israelites are complaining about the water. In chapter 16 they claim they would have rather He had killed them in Egypt because they don’t have food. In chapter 17 they complain about water again. Each time God provides for their needs. That’s just the first three chapters of freedom. Asking God for food or water would have been a much more mature way of handling the situation, but Israel as a nation had not matured into trusting God yet. (And don’t think you would have done better! I wouldn't have either.) Yet God told Jeremiah that He remembers the kindness of their youth, “when you went after Me in the wilderness.”

God’s perspective

“As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him; for He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust.”

- Psalm 103:13-14 (NIV)

God looks at our weakness and failure so much differently than we do. He hasn't forgotten that He shaped mankind out of dust. He hasn’t forgotten that we are imperfect. He hasn't forgotten that in the process of falling in love with Him, sometimes we end up more than a little mad at Him.

If anyone can handle our anger, God can. If anyone can handle our attitudes, God can. If anyone can handle our failures, God can, and He does it with love. I think the band Tenth Avenue North says it best: “This is not about what you've done, but what’s been done for you; and this is not about where you've been, but where your brokenness brings you to.” God knows where you’re going and He is okay with you not being there yet, because you are falling in love with Him.

I know; the process is still frustrating. But maybe knowing how God sees it will make perseverance just a little bit easier.

Glory to Glory

The Problem

The other day I was in an FMA¹ worship leader meeting, when someone made a comment that surprised me. To a woman who had just shared her story, he said, “It surprises me that you felt unqualified, because you carry yourself so confidently.”

His comment surprised me not because she does not carry herself confidently, but because in my experience everyone I’ve talked to has doubted their qualification for God’s calling at some point in their life. It may not have been an overarching theme of their life at one point, but I feel fairly confident in saying all whom God has called have at some point been faced with the question, “Am I qualified?”

Asking the Right Question

It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve heard the phrase, “God doesn't call the qualified; He qualifies the called.” The fact of the matter is that the closer we get to the perfect, holy, fully transcendent God, the more clearly we see our sin and humanity. And the more clearly our humanity sees our sin, the more we wonder why the Glorious One would want us.

For many people, that’s when pride is revealed. When we tell God He somehow made a mistake in choosing us, that is exactly the same as saying we know better than He does, that we’re somehow smarter than Him and know ourselves better than the all-knowing One knows us.

I don’t say this to shame anyone. I still go through periods of wondering why, with all the more talented musicians out there, God picked a kid from an island in the outer reaches of Alaska. Wanting to know why isn’t wrong; telling Him He doesn’t know what He’s doing is. That said: He does want you to know why you are qualified.

The Covenant and Glory

In 2 Corinthians, Paul talks about the glory of the old covenant and the surpassing glory of the new covenant.

“If the ministry that condemns men was glorious, how much more glorious is the ministry that brings righteousness! For what was glorious has no glory now in comparison with the surpassing glory. And if what was fading away came with glory, how much greater is the glory of that which lasts!”

- 2 Corinthians 3:9-11²

Just before this, Paul references Exodus 34, which tells how after Moses would speak with God, he would put a veil over his face because the radiance would frighten the Israelites. If that glory came from the giving of the law by which no man can be saved, Paul reasons, how much more glory will be released through the new covenant of Jesus the Messiah, Who is life to all who receive Him?

“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”

- 2 Corinthians 3:18³

The veil was torn when Christ died. Now, in every believer, Holy Spirit, God Himself, dwells. We live our lives constantly closer to God than Moses was able to go. The result of this is that we are transformed into His image, going “from one degree of glory to another.”

There is an assumption that comes with that phrase. The assumption is that the believer already has been transformed into something glorious. After all, it is impossible to go from one degree of glory to the next if one is not at the first level of glory to begin with!

The Point

The moment you accepted what Jesus did for you on the cross and received the Holy Spirit, you became glorious. You began to look more like the Glorious One Himself. That is your qualification. Where you are right now is glorious, who you are right now is glorious, and you are a reflection of God – and I guarantee God is qualified to do the job He has assigned to you!

God doesn’t call the qualified, but He does qualify the called by making them into His image and placing in them His glory. So next time the accusation comes against your heart that you aren’t worthy of His calling for your life, remind yourself and the enemy that you are qualified. You are more than qualified; you are glorious.

1.  FMA = Forerunner Music Academy

2.  New International Version

3.  English Standard Version

The Impossible

God likes to do the impossible.

When there was nothing, God spoke and created everything. (Genesis 1)

He holds the earth together. (Colossians 1:16-17)

He took a barren woman in her nineties and gave her a child. (Genesis 17:16, 21:2)

He took a people who had been enslaved for 400 years and gave them freedom. (Exodus 1-15)

He took a nationless race of shepherds who had been wandering in the desert for 40 years and gave them land. (Pretty much all of Joshua)

He took a shepherd boy who was the least in his family and made him the king of His people. (Story starts in 1 Samuel 16)

He defended His city Jerusalem against an army that could have destroyed it. (Isaiah 36-37)

He made yet another old woman pregnant with a child she should not have been able to conceive. (Luke 1:1-25, 57-80)

He became a man by being born of a virgin. (Luke 1:26-38, 2:1-7)

He died. (Luke 23:46)

He came back to life. (Luke 24)

He takes broken people and changes them into a likeness of Christ. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11, 2 Corinthians 3:18)

He is coming again to restore all things to perfection. (Revelation 19-20)

Why does He love the impossible?

In so many of these things, while God did the impossible, He did/will do it through people doing what they can do. Even in the case of Mary the mother of Jesus, she said yes to giving birth to the Son of God. He takes something that we could never do and works with and through our actions to accomplish it. God loves the impossible because it unites us to Him.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? Has it not been told you from the beginning?
    Have you not understood since the earth was founded?

He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth, and its people are like grasshoppers.
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, and spreads them out like a tent to live in.

He brings princes to naught and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing. No sooner are they planted, no sooner are they sown, no sooner do they take root in the ground, than He blows on them and they wither, and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.

“To whom will you compare Me? Or who is My equal?” says the Holy One.

Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name.
Because of His great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing.

Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, “My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God”?
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

- Isaiah 40:21-31 (NIV)

And God doesn’t do the impossible solely on a universal stage. He brings people into His world plan and then does the impossible in their lives.

A God who can create the heavens and call each star by name is capable of a whole lot more than we give Him credit for, and He doesn’t just care about the stars; He cares about you.

See, while He’s holding all creation together and remembering each star’s name, He is also holding you together, and He remembers your name. So when you feel like you’re breaking and can’t go on, look to Him. He gives strength to the weary. Bury yourself in Him and let His arms carry you. He won’t let you go.

Let Him do the impossible in your life.

Life Tips for College Students: How to Keep Ramen Interesting

The dilemma of the college student:

Budgeting for food can be frustrating when you’re in college. While ramen is by far the easiest food to afford, it’s not that healthy and can very quickly become boring. That said, there are a few things you can do to add flavor, some of which add nutrients as well. So, to help spark your own creativity, here are my favorite things to do with ramen. (Some of these mix and match pretty well.)

1.) Drain the water

               If you add other things to the ramen (which I’ll go over later), cooking the ramen with the flavor packet, then draining the water, is a great way to get the flavor of the packet without all of the excessive salt.

2.) Replace the water with milk

               My first roommate when I first moved away from home taught me to drain the water that the ramen was cooked in and mix the flavor packet in with some milk. The hot ramen thickens the milk a little bit and leaves it wonderfully creamy. This works best with real milk, but soy milk and almond milk work too, although they won’t thicken like real milk.

3.) Make it a desert

               This is my favorite nighttime snack after peanut butter on crackers. Drain the water and add milk. When adding the milk and flavor packet, also add a little bit of honey, some cinnamon, and just a hint of cayenne. The ramen will be sweet with just a little kick.

4.) Add vegetables

               Whether you are planning on using milk or water, vegetables are your friend. If you don’t get to the store much like me, frozen vegetables are great because a few bags will last for a long time, and if you get different blends, you can change up what kind of veggies you add very easily. But if you do have the chance to go to the store every week, get fresh vegetables. They will add to the nutritional value of your meal, plus you can change what you get every week to keep things interesting.

5.) Make it a stir fry

               Adding ramen (cooked just enough to soften it up) to a stir fry or putting stir fry on it is a fun way to use ramen in a slightly healthier way. The sauce from the stir fry will soak into the noodles and add great flavor.

6.) Add soy sauce when cooking

               Putting soy sauce on ramen along with the flavor packet can make ramen too salty. Putting both the flavor packet and a little soy sauce in the water while cooking and then draining the water, however, adds the flavor of both to the noodles without making them too salty. It’s a win-win!

I didn’t mention meat in any of these, but that doesn’t exclude it! Play around with it, and come up with your own favorite ramen recipes. Have fun and happy eating!

Talent Is Not An Advantage

I have a confession to make.

I’m smart. I’m not just kind of smart; I’m actually smart.

I once took an IQ test and scored 4 points shy of genius. I have an almost frighteningly good memory, and my ability to understand new concepts and pick up new skills is above average. Getting good grades in school is not that difficult for me.

I don’t say this to brag; on the contrary, I find it embarrassing. It’s not uncommon for me to feel guilty when I get a good grade, because I know there are people whose grades are lower but who put far more effort into studying than I did. Sometimes I wish I were less smart and had to work harder.

Why am I telling you this? Because I’m tired of feeling guilty for something that 1) I didn’t choose to be and 2) isn’t an advantage anyway.

See, it really doesn’t matter if I get a score of 79 out of 80 on my timed midterm with twenty minutes left to spare. What matters is the effort I put in to get that grade. I greatly respect two of my friends who took that same midterm three times before passing, because I know how hard they worked for their passing grades.

Talent and intelligence have a big disadvantage: they make things require less effort while still giving a temporary appearance of effort having been made. It doesn’t matter how much talent a drummer has; if he or she will not take the time to do basic skills and perfectly master techniques, a less talented drummer who works their butt off to become skilled will be the better drummer and build a good work ethic to boot.

The important bit:

The point I want you to take away is this: talent is a tool, not an advantage. God grades not on our final destination, but on how hard we worked to get there. Don’t believe me? Check out this parable from the gospel of Matthew.

“For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability... He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master's money. Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here I have made two talents more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.’ But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance.’”

– Matthew 25:14-29 (ESV)

Notice each servant has a different number of talents entrusted to them, and each of them added – or didn’t add, as the case may be – a different number of talents to what they were given. But the servant who added five talents and the servant who added two talents were told the same thing: “Well done, good and faithful servant.” The master didn’t look at the two talents the second servant had made and said, “Well, nice job, but Joe over here added five talents to what I gave him, so you could have done better.” No, not at all! He looked at the five talents and the two talents and saw that each servant had doubled what he had given them, and rewarded them equally.

Think of what that means for the one talent servant. If he had gotten just one more talent, he would have shared the same reward as his fellow servants! Even though his effort would not have produced as noticeable of results, equal work and dedication reaps equal rewards in the end.

This story could easily have been flipped. If the two talent and one talent servants had doubled their money, but the five talent servant had buried his, he would have been the one who’s talents were taken away and given to another.

Talent is not an advantage, it is a tool.

Character is the advantage.

Don’t focus on the talents you wish you had. Don’t feel guilty for the talents you’ve been given. Use the tools God gifted you with to build something that will delight Him. He can’t wait to show you what it was worth in the end.

An Untitled Song

Sometimes the oceans overwhelm
Sometimes the waters drown
Yet here I stand atop the waves
With no land to be found
I shouldn't even be here
Standing here shouldn't work
And yet You still uphold me
By the power of Your Word

So when my heart is overwhelmed
I will trust in You

Time and time again You've shown me
Your love never fails
And even when I walk through darkness
Still Your light is there
Through Your strength and through my weakness
I can finally see
Your faithfulness is everlasting
You will not fail me

Sometimes stuff happens 'cause I fall but
Sometimes life just comes down
But even when I cannot feel You
I know You're still around
I know You're still around

So when my heart is overwhelmed
I will trust in You

Time and time again You've shown me
Your love never fails
And even when I walk through darkness
Still Your light is there
Through Your strength and through my weakness
I can finally see
Your faithfulness is everlasting
You will not fail me

Pick me up and hold me closer
Let me feel Your heartbeat now
As these waves come crash against me
Please don't let them take me down

Pick me up and hold me closer
Let me feel Your heartbeat now
As these waves come crash against me
Please don't let them take me down

And when my heart is overwhelmed
I will trust in You

Time and time again You've shown me
Your love never fails
And even when I walk through darkness
Still Your light is there
Through Your strength and through my weakness
I can finally see
Your faithfulness is everlasting
You will not fail me


Written October 8, 2014

An Attempt at Continuation: Learning to Draw

So.

While writing a blog for class (see previous post), I realized how much I've missed blogging. (And learned how much I love formatting! Haha.) It's kind of like a public personality outlet. It's fun.

But since it's been a while since I've regularly blogged, there will probably be a few posts that aren't up to par just for the sake of getting into the habit of posting semi-regularly again.

We'll see how this one ends up.

"Learning to Draw" - a short story by KatieBelle

    "Carry me, Daddy. Carry me!" four-year-old Tasha cried joyfully as she ran to him. Laughing, he scooped her up into his arms.

    "And how is my little princes today?" he asked with a smile.

    Beaming, Tasha proudly declared, "I made you a picture. Come and see." She squirmed out of her daddy's arms, grabbed his hand, and dragged him to the fridge where her crayon drawing was now displayed. "See? Here's you, and me, and Mommy, and that's the kitten I want."

    Her father smiled at the nearly unrecognizable scribbles. "It's beautiful, Princess."

    Twenty-four-year-old Tasha entered her apartment and slumped up against the now-closed front door.  Looking up to the ceiling, she said, "I had a bad day today, Daddy."

    Her Daddy smiled down at her and stroked her hair. "Tell Me about it, Princess."

    Tasha sighed. "This afternoon, I tried to talk about Jesus with someone at the store, but my words got all mixed up and I couldn't think of what to say. They looked at me like I was crazy and walked off. I failed so badly."

    "No you didn't, Princess. I'm so proud of you; you did well."

    "Ha. Yeah, right. Nothing about that went well."

    Then Tasha remembered the pictures hanging on her parents' refrigerator. To her, they looked awful, but her parents loved them. And eventually she had become a good artist, graduating college with a degree in illustration.

    "You did well, Princess, and you'll get even better."

    And with that thought in her mind, Tasha smiled and went to make dinner, delighted to realize that just like her parents, her heavenly Father enjoys her as she learns to draw.

Where that came from:

I was sitting in the All Nations Prayer Room one Friday afternoon and suddenly realized that I wanted to write a story. I had no idea what I was going to write, when all of a sudden Tasha appeared on the page. Before I ever thought of what the point of the story was supposed to be, she was showing her daddy a picture.

I was actually halfway through the second part of the story before I knew what the point would be. I guess Holy Spirit is better at planning ahead than I am...although I'm pretty sure one of my stuffed animals (the big dog, to be specific) is better at planning ahead than I am.

Anyway, when I'd finished, I sat there and looked at the story I'd just written. It's pretty simple, and even at this point I haven't gone back through with much editing, and to be perfectly honest I think it's horribly cheesy. Yet even with all that, it has a simple yet profound point that I often forget.

Be honest: when was the last time you felt like you did horribly at something? For me, it was just yesterday when I tried to play the bass part for "Higher" by Jaye Thomas and the Cry (if you listen to it you'll probably get a pretty good idea why). Maybe you tried to follow a cupcake recipe and forgot an important ingredient. Maybe you were in a car crash that was ruled your fault. Maybe you forgot about a homework assignment that was due the next morning. Maybe you stumbled on the same sin you've stumbled on a thousand times before. Maybe you forgot to do something you told a friend you would do.

The fact is, all of us mess up. ALL OF US. But God loves us anyway.

"As a father shows compassion to his children,

so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear Him. 

For He knows our frame;

He remembers that we are dust."

Psalm 103:13-14

We so often forget that God remembers we aren't perfect but loves us anyway. He has compassion on us - how beautiful is that? Whether you made a stupid mistake or committed a sin, He knows you are made from dust and because of that, He has compassion on you.

So, where am I going with this?

I think it's time to ask for help to give ourselves the same grace He gives us.

Go on, see what happens.

I dare you to try.

The Story of Noah and How Jesus Can Be Found in the Old Testament

When I was young and learning to read, I would skip around the Old Testament, especially in Genesis, reading all of my favorite stories. That love of the Old Testament stories has served me well as I have grown in my faith and in my understanding of Scripture. I have gone from loving separate, isolated stories to loving the God of which they testify and the greater story that He has woven into history since the fall. One of the stories where this greater story is clearly seen in is the story of Noah.

How It Happened

“The LORD saw how great man’s wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time … But Noah found favor in the eyes of the LORD. This is the account of Noah. Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked with God.”

– Genesis 6:5, 8-9 (NIV 1986)

After Adam and Eve’s fall in the Garden of Eden, mankind fell more and more deeply into sin, until in all of the earth there was only one man who found favor in the eyes of God – Noah. Because Noah lived righteously and walked with the LORD, God spoke with Noah about what was on His heart and told Noah His plans: He would send a flood, and it would destroy every living thing on earth. But because Noah was a righteous man, God gave him an assignment: Build an ark of cypress, 300 cubits long, 50 cubits wide and 30 cubits high. Take seven of every kind of clean animal and of every kind of bird, and two of every kind of unclean animal, and with the animals and with your family, enter the ark.

Everyone who attended Sunday school or Vacation Bible School has heard this story before, how it rained for forty days and forty nights, and how when the water had finally receded, the dove Noah sent out did not return. How God made a covenant with Noah and put the rainbow in the sky as a symbol that He will never flood the earth again. Everyone who grew up around Christianity knows how it happened, but so few of us have taken the time to understand what it means. How many times have we read this story or told it to a child without seeing the far greater story to which God was pointing?

What It Means

While the Bible makes it clear that Noah was “blameless among the people of his time,” it never says his family lived in the same way he did. While they probably did not live like those around them, we do not know for sure if the rest of Noah’s family walked with God as he did. But what we do know is that because Noah was a righteous man, his whole family was saved along with him.

In 1 Peter 3:20-21, Peter compares the saving of Noah’s family through the flood to baptism. Baptism is a symbol for dying with Christ and rising again in his resurrection life. Just as one man was faithful to the LORD and his family was saved from judgment through his faithfulness, thousands of years later the God-man was faithful to His Father so that He could save His bride and family from judgment.

“I have set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth. When I bring clouds over the earth and the bow is seen in the clouds, I will remember my covenant that is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh. And the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh. When the bow is in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.”

– Genesis 9:13-16 (ESV)

When God placed His rainbow in the sky, He did it as a sign not only for man, but for Himself. “I will see it and remember...” God does not forget His promises, so why was this covenant different, that He chose to place a reminder in the sky?

A bow is only useful when pointed in the right direction. A rainbow points up. This is the most unimaginable thing God could have done. Not only is He showing that His judgment is not pointed at earth, He is also pointing it at Himself. At the cross, Jesus bore the wrath that you and I should have borne. When the arrow of the Almighty’s wrath was loosed, He Himself took the pain of receiving it. By taking our punishment, Jesus became our ark, our protection from the wrath our sin deserves.

The Point of the Matter

The story of Jesus permeates the whole Bible, not just the New Testament. The stories we grew up hearing in Sunday school have so much more to offer than what a five or six year old is ready to hear. As we grow in our faith, we should go back to those stories and look at them in context of the greatest of all stories – the story of our Savior. I hope that after reading this you will go back to your Bible and search for Jesus in the story of Noah and throughout the rest of the Old Testament.

April 30, 2013 - an abridged journal entry

This is an entry from the night all my recent verse meditations suddenly made sense not just separately, but all together.

Katie, always, always, ALWAYS listen to God telling you to do something.
I was planning to do bareness.*  I wanted to read Growing in the Prophetic** (that's a good book).  I was told, "Just worship Me."
I can't even remember what song the worship team started with, but I ended up on the floor repeating a combo of Revelation 1:5-6 and Jude 25.
Jesus Christ, the faithful Witness, the Firstborn from the dead, and the Ruler over the kings of the earth; He loves me, has washed me with His blood, and has redeemed me to God the Father.  To Him, Jesus, the Lamb Who was slain, be all glory, dominion, power, honor, majesty, and praise forever and ever amen.
He has all dominion forever and ever not just in a general sense, but in my life.  Because He has brought me from death to life, because He has washed me from my sins with His own blood, because HE LOVES ME, I have offered myself and the parts of my body to Him as instruments of righteousness.
My soul thirsts for Him.  My body longs for Him.  This land is dry and weary, and there are plenty of times it makes me feel dry and weary, too, but He is the Shepherd.  Jesus is the good Shepherd Who makes me lie down in green pastures and leads me beside quiet waters.  When my soul thirsts, when it is dry and weary, He restores it.  I long for Him, and Daddy delights in giving good gifts.  "He Who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all - how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?"  If I delight in Him, he will give me the desire of my heart - Himself.
And Jesus delights in me - He desires me, too!  He is enthralled (delighted to the point of distraction) by my beauty!  I may be dark, but He sees me as lovely.  My voice is sweet and my face it lovely, and He wants to see me and hear me.
To Him be all glory and dominion forever and ever, amen.

Verses referenced/paraphrased:
Revelation 1:5-6
Jude 25
Revelation 5:12/13:8
Romans 6:13
Galatians 2:20
Psalm 63:1
Psalm 23:1-3
Romans 8:32
Psalm 37:4
Song of Songs 7:10
Psalm 45:11
Song of Songs 1:5
Song of Songs 2:14

*Bareness: sitting in the prayer room with no books or distractions, not singing or speaking, just listening to God.
**Growing in the Prophetic by Mike Bickle, copyright 1996, 2008

Silence in Heaven

Revelation 8:1, NIV

“When He opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour.”

Why would there be silence in heaven?

Revelation 4, NIV

“After this I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven. And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like a trumpet said, ‘Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this.’  At once I was in the Spirit, and there before me was a throne in heaven with someone sitting on it.  And the One Who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian. A rainbow, resembling an emerald, encircled the throne.  Surrounding the throne were twenty-four other thrones, and seated on them were twenty-four elders. They were dressed in white and had crowns of gold on their heads.  From the throne came flashes of lightning, rumblings and peals of thunder.  Before the throne, seven lamps were blazing. These are the seven spirits of God.  Also before the throne there was what looked like a sea of glass, clear as crystal.

“In the center, around the throne, were four living creatures, and they were covered with eyes, in front and in back. The first living creature was like a lion, the second was like an ox, the third had a face like a man, the fourth was like a flying eagle.  Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under his wings. Day and night they never stop saying:

“‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, Who was, and is, and is to come.’

“Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to Him Who sits on the throne and Who lives for ever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before Him Who sits on the throne, and worship Him Who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say:

“‘You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by Your will they were created and have their being.’”

What I see here is anything but silent.  From the throne itself comes “rumblings and peals of thunder.” From the creatures around the throne comes a constant cry of, “Holy, holy, holy,” and from the elders comes the constant cry of, “You are worthy.”  I suspect heaven is very, very noisy.

So why was there silence?

The elders cry out because the Seraphim cry out.  If the elders stopped their cry, the Seraphim must have stopped.  But the Seraphim have been crying out for only they and God knows how long without ceasing.  If they have stopped, someone must have stopped them.  And the only one they would stop for is the One for Whom they cry to begin with.

Why would God stop heaven from praising Him?

Luke 19:37-40, NIV

“When he came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen:

“‘Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!’

“‘Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!’

“Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, ‘Teacher, rebuke your disciples!’

“‘I tell you,’ He replied, ‘if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.’”

This is from the event we Christians generally call the triumphal entry.  The basic scene is this: Jesus is riding into Jerusalem on a young donkey, and all the people who have followed Him through His ministry (there were more than twelve total; the twelve were the ones He personally trained, but others followed Him around listening to His public messages) start loudly proclaiming Jesus’ glory.  The Pharisees don’t like this, but Jesus basically says, “Hey, if they aren't proclaiming Who I am, creation is going to.  This isn't going to stop.”

Now, all this fuss was over Jesus in His not-yet-resurrected human form.  This is the Isaiah 53:2 Jesus, Who, “had no beauty or majesty to attract us to Him, nothing in His appearance that we should desire Him.”  This isn't the Revelation 1 Jesus, with hair white like snow, eyes like blazing fire, and feet like bronze glowing in a furnace, and this definitely isn't God the Father on a throne, looking like jasper and carnelian (aka diamond and ruby, in case you’re wondering) with an emerald rainbow, lighting and thunder, and bunch of weird-looking creatures and elders constantly proclaiming praise.  And yet if the Isaiah 53 Jesus isn't worshiped, the stones will cry out.

What if the Seraphim and the elders are creation crying out because YHWH’s praise is not fully being proclaimed?

What if heaven is silent because His people are finally giving Him the praise He deserves?

What if God silences the sounds of His throne to listen to His people?

What if God stops His heavenly worshipers from singing because He wants to hear your voice?

There’s so much more in Revelation 8:1 than just silence, but this is what I want you to take away when you are done reading:

God would rather hear your voice than all the worship in heaven.

Maybe you should let Him hear it more often.