Using the Lifeline

     "So I gave up and I finally let go - stopped trying to save myself and be my own hero - and when I opened my eyes, that's when I realized You were there the whole time.  I've got a lifeline waiting for me, ready to save.  This is gonna be my escape.  Never giving up on me, You are my lifeline."

     I had this thought the other day, and I still have not sorted it out.  Maybe blogging will help, or maybe it will not.  But if I do not come to any sort of conclusion in my mind, maybe this will at least get you thinking on how this might work in your life.  If you figure it out, please tell me; I really need it.
     The question in my mind is this: how am I supposed to "flee the evil desires of youth" (2 Tim. 2:22, NIV) when I, as a human being, am stuck in a body that will never be able to resist sin?  Yes, I have a new nature, but my body is still corrupt.  I still struggle with some pretty weighty sin.  So how do I actively run from sin while still relying on God for strength?  How do I do my part without forgetting to let God do His part?
     This is not really making it any clearer for me, but the late hour is not helping.  Please let me know your thoughts on this; I could use all the help finding balance that I can get.

Meet the Random

     So, I do not really have anything I want to write about, but I want to write because it has been a few days.  Here is what I am going to do: I am going to try, for the first time in a couple of months (I have a totally random blog on a magazine website - members only, sorry), to write a "stream of consciousness" blog post.  A stream of consciousness post is where I will write down what I'm thinking as I am thinking it.  This is my first one for this blog, hence the title, "Meet the Random."  Everyone, say hello to the stream of consciousness blog post.
     Oh, yeah, almost forgot to indent the paragraphs.  I can't believe it's time to listen to Christmas music already.  This song is so cool.  I'll just go back through and remove the contractions later - or not, if I'm too lazy.  It's kind of late, but then, I get to sleep in tomorrow morning.  Well, kinda.  I sorta hafta do laundry in the morning, if I want to wear that one shirt to church tomorrow.  ITCHY NOSE!  Okay, I'm good now.   Bible study was fun tonight, got some good questions asked and answered.  CALEB'S VOICE IS AMAZING IN THIS SONG!  Sorry, Anthem Lights fan.  (Check out their version of, "Do You Hear What I Hear," and their feature on Amanda Noelle's version of, "Hark the Herald Angels Sing.")  Magnificent.  That's Chad that time.  I can't believe Alan can hit those notes clearly, his voice is so low.  CALEB!  Sorry.  Anyway...I'm so full.  Shouldn't have eaten that pie.  But it was so good..."Ugh, Cowboys.  I need more pie." (Caleb quote.  He's on twitter.)  Kyle's singing now...wish I had something with Joey in it.  Okay, think of something else, Katie...so...tired...maybe I should sleep...PEANUTS!  No idea where that came from, but now I want some, except (I can't spell anything tonight, half of this has been backspaced at some point and it's messing with my stream!) I'm so stuffed.  Hmmm...
     Okay, that's enough random for you guys, since it's your first introduction.  So yeah, I might do that sometimes just as a reminder to myself to write.  Have a nice day!



(...IT'S CALEB!)

From Whence the Blog Title Cometh

  "Lifeline" - Anthem Lights

  

  The water was getting higher and higher

My arms kept getting more and more tired

And the harder I would try, the further I would dive down

So I gave up and I finally let go

Stop trying to save myself and be my own hero

And when I opened my eyes, that's when I realized

You were there the whole time

Chorus:

I've got a lifeline

Waiting for me, ready to save

Lifeline

This is gonna be my escape

Lifeline

Never giving up on me

You are my lifeline

I thought that I was too far gone to be rescued

But it seems I underestimated You

It's nothing to You, it's too much for me

It's over my head, but it's under Your feet

Chorus:

Lifeline

Waiting for me, ready to save

Lifeline

This is gonna be my escape

Lifeline

Never giving up on me

You are my lifeline

Bridge:

Lifeline

I thought it was over

I thought I was through

Then I saw You and I knew

(This is gonna be my escape)

Lifeline

I thought it was over

I thought I was through

Then I saw You and I knew

(This is gonna be my escape)

Chorus: x2

I've got a lifeline

Waiting for me, ready to save

Lifeline

This is gonna be my escape

Lifeline

Never giving up on me

You are my lifeline

Lyrics courtesy of AZLyrics.com.

     So, I figured that while I am actually writing, I should probably explain how I got the title for my blog.  I could have named it anything - but I did not.  I chose "Lifeline Life," which by now you have probably deduced came from the song that I have posted the lyrics to.  That is an accurate deduction; bravo!  But it does not explain how the "Life" part made it into the blog title, or why I chose "Lifeline Life" over numerous potential candidates, like "Katie's Life" or "My Blog," or anything else equally boring and accurate.

     Naming a blog after a song that starts with desperation may seem odd, but it fits my life so perfectly.  See, I have this really annoying tenancy to worry and stress about stuff.  But you know what?  The more I worry and stress, the worse the situation appears, and the worse I feel.  The harder I try, the further I dive down.

     But when I give up and let go, He is there.  He is in control when I freak out, and He is in control when I turn over my fears and anxiety.  The only difference is how much peace I have.

     See, when a person is panicking and drowning, they cannot see the lifeline that is thrown to them.  My goal is to live a life so surrendered to God that I will always trust.  I never want to miss His lifeline.

     Now, I am not perfect, so of course I still stress about stuff.  (I was practically in tears the other night - I am definitely human.)  But every time I look at this blog title, I will be reminded that He is waiting to save me and will never give up.  It is over my head, but it is under His feet.  He is my lifeline.

     And He is what my life is about.

A New Attempt

     At the request of several people, I am starting a regular blog.  Technically, I could just convert my Panama blog, but instead I am starting over.  I have never been good at writing regularly, so this is something I need to work on; even if I only write every couple of weeks, I will try to be consistent.
     So, why am I starting this blog?  Basically, just to tell a bit about my life.  I currently live in Unalaska, Alaska, but I am preparing to leave for a six-month internship with the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, Missouri, and do not know when I will be back.  The purpose of this blog is to keep people up-to-date on what has been going on in my life, and to give me an outlet for those moments I just really want to write something random.
     If you are brave enough to join me on this, I applaud you.  Literally - here goes.  Did you hear it?  No?  Well, you will just have to take my word for it.
     So just settle in to read; check in every few weeks and see what's here.  And if you are ever tempted to picture me writing, picture me slouched in a big chair or on a bed leaning against a wall, with my laptop at a slant on my tucked-up knees; not sitting at a table with a cup of coffee.  I am not that organized.  And yeah, if you cannot tell yet, be prepared for random.
     And if you have to picture coffee, make it decaf.  I can live with decaf.