It Always Supports Itself

Isaiah 2:10-22

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

¹⁰ Go into the rocks,
    hide in the ground
from dread of the Lord
    and the splendor of his majesty!
¹¹ The eyes of the arrogant man will be humbled
    and the pride of men brought low;
the Lord alone will be exalted in that day.

¹² The Lord Almighty has a day in store
    for all the proud and lofty,
    for all that is exalted
    (and they will be humbled),
¹³ for all the cedars of Lebanon, tall and lofty,
    and all the oaks of Bashan,
¹⁴ for all the towering mountains
    and all the high hills,
¹⁵ for every lofty tower
    and every fortified wall,
¹⁶ for every trading ship^[a]
    and every stately vessel.
¹⁷ The arrogance of man will be brought low
    and the pride of men humbled;
the Lord alone will be exalted in that day,
¹⁸     and the idols will totally disappear.

¹⁹ Men will flee to caves in the rocks
    and to holes in the ground
from dread of the Lord
    and the splendor of his majesty,
    when he rises to shake the earth.
²⁰ In that day men will throw away
    to the rodents and bats
their idols of silver and idols of gold,
    which they made to worship.
²¹ They will flee to caverns in the rocks
    and to the overhanging crags
from dread of the Lord
    and the splendor of his majesty,
    when he rises to shake the earth.

²² Stop trusting in man,
    who has but a breath in his nostrils.
Of what account is he?

Revelation 6:15-17

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

¹⁵ Then the kings of the earth, the princes, the generals, the rich, the mighty, and every slave and every free man hid in caves and among the rocks of the mountains. ¹⁶ They called to the mountains and the rocks, “Fall on us and hide us from the face of him who sits on the throne and from the wrath of the Lamb! ¹⁷ For the great day of their wrath has come, and who can stand?”

Why? by Anonymous - a response to the Sandy Hook shooting

When I look into the eyes of a child,

I see delight,

The joy of living;

But tonight, when I look back, the light is gone -

Some eyes are closed in death,

Others mourn their passing on.

And as the weight of what occurred

Settles on my shoulders,

It makes a place of cold inside my heart.

Innocence was taken at an

Age that's far too young,

And my heart can't take it anymore.

As I sink to my knees and cry,

I feel Your arms surround me and

Your tears fall with mine.

How is it that You are here,

But still their eyes are closed

And innocence was lost in that brief time?

When I think about the life of a child,

I think of hope -

A bright tomorrow.

But tonight, as I look back, the hope has died.

I just cannot make sense

Of this pointless loss of young life.

I cannot see any good

In the dark that settles,

Smothering the light inside my heart.

Beauty, grace, and wonder have been

Shot down in cold blood,

And my heart can't take it any longer.

But as the shudders wrack my frame, 

I look up through my tears and I

Look into Your face.

I know that You are here,

But still their eyes are closed

And innocence was lost in that brief time.

Why is all I'm asking,

And it's all that I can ask.

You know the pain of Your child dying;

Why let others feel it too?

Another question hits my mind

(This one is more for me),

If the shooting didn't happen, how many

Would not be holding on to You?

Well, I never got my answer,

But this one thing I know:

I can't go on without my God,

So I'm not letting go.

I may never know why it happened,

But He's waiting for me to let Him

Pick up the pieces of my heart -

I'm going to let Him.

Why? - Anonymous

Wedding

     The church was beautiful.  The arch at the front was covered in purple crepe paper, white tulle, and synthetic ivy vines.  The lighting was low, accenting the soft green of the stage and minimizing the burgundy chairs in which the guests were seated.  The bridesmaids, the maid of honor, the bouquets - all of them were lovely.
     But loveliest of all was the bride.  In a sleeveless, lace-topped gown with pleated gathers at the waist, her hair done in curls twisted to the side and pinned with rhinestone clips, she was stunning.  Her smile as she joined her groom was brilliant and full of joy.
     And she is my best friend.
     We grew up together.  She is just over a year older than me.  And she is married.
     No matter how happy I am for her, the fact that she's married is surreal, not because I have known her for so long, but because she met her husband when she was a few months older than I am now.
     Now, I know some people would take this opportunity to tease me.  "It's coming soon!"  "So, when are you getting married?"  "You'll be dating in no time."  Guess what, people?  That is the most frustrating thing anyone could say to me.  It almost makes me cry.
     I am definitely not ready to get married.  I am nowhere near mature enough to handle that kind of relationship well.  Also, I have never lived apart from my parents, and while that does not hinder most people, for me it means I have no idea how to take care of a house.  My parents are such a blessing, but there are some things that I can try to do myself that they step in to do instead.  I have never done certain things, even though I have tried, because they have stepped in to finish them for me.  And until I can take care of myself, I am not ready to take care of a husband also.
     God is definitely calling me to stay single for now.  Honestly, I do not believe He will call me into marriage any time soon.  I would love to get married, more than I can say.  Because of that, as long as I am supposed to be single, comments on future marriage are far more frustrating than I can say.
     Several of you reading this have probably seen me laugh off a comment on marriage, or even joke with it.  I have been told that I am very good at pasting a front over my feelings.  So if this surprises you, okay.  Just please, next time you are tempted to make one of those comments...don't.  I will let you know when that changes.

"More Like Falling in Love" by Jason Gray (Lyrics)

"More Like Falling in Love" - Jason Gray

Give me rules

I will break them

Show me lines

I will cross them

I need more than

A truth to believe

I need a truth that lives

Moves and breathes

To sweep me off my feet, it's gotta be

More like falling in love

Than something to believe in

More like losing my heart

Than giving my allegiance

Caught up, called out

Come take a look at me now

It's like I'm falling, oh

It's like I'm falling in love

Give me words

I'll misuse them

Obligations

I'll misplace them

'Cause all religion

Ever made of me

Was just a sinner

With a stone tied to my feet

It never set me free, it's gotta be

More like falling in love

Than something to believe in

More like losing my heart

Than giving my allegiance

Caught up, called out

Come take a look at me now

It's like I'm falling, oh

It's like I'm falling in

Love, love, love

Deeper and deeper, it was

Love that made me a believer

In more than a name

A faith, a creed

Falling in love with Jesus brought

The change in me

More like falling in love

Than something to believe in

More like losing my heart

Than giving my allegiance

Caught up, called out

Come take a look at me now

It's like I'm falling, oh

It's like I'm falling

More like falling in love

Than something to believe in

More like losing my heart

Than giving my allegiance

Caught up, called out

Come take a look at me now

It's like I'm falling, oh

It's like I'm falling in love

It's like I'm falling

(Falling in love)

It's like I'm falling

Anchorage

     So...here I sit in Anchorage...crisscross on the floor...with my left foot falling asleep...
     *gets up and moves to a seat*
     There.  Much better.
     *CLATTER*
     Oops.  Sorry, laptop.
     ANYWAY, the trip here was relatively uneventful.  Eight of our ten bags arrived with us; the two that are missing are my box of things I'll need in KC but will not need here (no problem there, as long as it shows up before January 2) and the duffle bag of bridal shower (tomorrow) and wedding (Wednesday) gifts.  *sigh*  But at least all our clothing made it in.
     A lady saw how many bags and boxes we had and offered us her carts, so Cassie and I did not have to wait with the bags while Mom and Dad went for the car.  Kinda sad, because I was all set to do my Joey Stamper impression - sunglasses and playing guitar - so we would not be bored.  But it was nice to get to the car.  Mom and Dad were a little concerned about how all our bags would fit into the car, but we got a free upgrade in size due to the rental place being out of the car we requested.  Everything fit perfectly. :)
     Dropped some books off at Title Wave, ate dinner, did some shopping, drove to Grandma and Grandpa's.  Hauled luggage inside.  The cap on my hand sanitizer fell off (how does a screw top fall off?!?) and got all over the outside (not the inside - whew!) of my bag, and all over one of my grandparent's chairs.  Nothing got ruined, and they both smell like chocolate and peppermint, so I do not mind one bit.  (Neither did Grandma, fortunately.)
     Finished Julie's bridal shower gift (I had mine in my carry on, not the duffle) and am about to start on Christmas gifts.  So I should go do that.  Even if it is almost eleven.  Bathrooms are all full, so I cannot get ready for for bed yet, anyway.
     Hope you all sleep really well and have a blessed Sunday tomorrow!

Probably the last

     I don't really have anything to blog about, and I'm not doing a stream of consciousness post today.  I just wanted to update, for those of you who read this, and say that I probably won't update until I'm off the island.  I have a ton of stuff to do to get ready, so I probably won't have time.

     Goodbye, Unalaska!

The Next Stream of Consciousness Post

     In an effort to continue my habit of writing semi-regularly, and because I can't think of anything else to blog about, I am going to write another stream-of-consciousness blog post.  My apologies to those who were scared by the last one; this one probably won't be any less frightening.

     

     *YAWN*  Much better.  I'm tired.  Less than two weeks till I leave the island!  I'm kinda ready for it.  Waiting is getting frustrating.  I want to listen to music.  One moment while I go get headphones.

     Mmm, Christmas music by Amanda Noel.  Love it.  My rose is beautiful.  Thank you, Kristen!  I just had chocolate cake.  It was good.  Really good.  But sweet.  I think I've (CALEB!  Sorry, song features Anthem Lights.) maxed out my sugar quota for the day.  It's pretty low.  I can't handle much sugar.  "Mild, He lays His glory by; born that man no more may die.  Born to raise the sons of earth, born to give men second birth.  Hark the herald angels sing, 'Glory to the newborn King'."  I love Christmas music.  Oooh, Ali messaged me.  Hi Ali!  Be right back.

     "A child shivers in the cold; let us bring Him silver and gold."  CALEB!  Anthem Lights' Christmas song.  *serious nod* *giggles*  I'm tired.  I should go to bed.  But it's barely after 8, and my brain won't let me.  Plus I'm sleeping on the couch and everyone's hanging down here.  I might be allergic to my bunnies.  *sadness*  They're in my room, so I"m avoiding my room.  OWL CITY IS SINGING!  For anyone who can't tell, I love music.  Bleh, my back hurts.  And I'm thirsty.  And I'm going to close this post and get ready for bed.  At least I'll be ready when everyone gets out of my "room."  G'night.

Using the Lifeline

     "So I gave up and I finally let go - stopped trying to save myself and be my own hero - and when I opened my eyes, that's when I realized You were there the whole time.  I've got a lifeline waiting for me, ready to save.  This is gonna be my escape.  Never giving up on me, You are my lifeline."

     I had this thought the other day, and I still have not sorted it out.  Maybe blogging will help, or maybe it will not.  But if I do not come to any sort of conclusion in my mind, maybe this will at least get you thinking on how this might work in your life.  If you figure it out, please tell me; I really need it.
     The question in my mind is this: how am I supposed to "flee the evil desires of youth" (2 Tim. 2:22, NIV) when I, as a human being, am stuck in a body that will never be able to resist sin?  Yes, I have a new nature, but my body is still corrupt.  I still struggle with some pretty weighty sin.  So how do I actively run from sin while still relying on God for strength?  How do I do my part without forgetting to let God do His part?
     This is not really making it any clearer for me, but the late hour is not helping.  Please let me know your thoughts on this; I could use all the help finding balance that I can get.

Meet the Random

     So, I do not really have anything I want to write about, but I want to write because it has been a few days.  Here is what I am going to do: I am going to try, for the first time in a couple of months (I have a totally random blog on a magazine website - members only, sorry), to write a "stream of consciousness" blog post.  A stream of consciousness post is where I will write down what I'm thinking as I am thinking it.  This is my first one for this blog, hence the title, "Meet the Random."  Everyone, say hello to the stream of consciousness blog post.
     Oh, yeah, almost forgot to indent the paragraphs.  I can't believe it's time to listen to Christmas music already.  This song is so cool.  I'll just go back through and remove the contractions later - or not, if I'm too lazy.  It's kind of late, but then, I get to sleep in tomorrow morning.  Well, kinda.  I sorta hafta do laundry in the morning, if I want to wear that one shirt to church tomorrow.  ITCHY NOSE!  Okay, I'm good now.   Bible study was fun tonight, got some good questions asked and answered.  CALEB'S VOICE IS AMAZING IN THIS SONG!  Sorry, Anthem Lights fan.  (Check out their version of, "Do You Hear What I Hear," and their feature on Amanda Noelle's version of, "Hark the Herald Angels Sing.")  Magnificent.  That's Chad that time.  I can't believe Alan can hit those notes clearly, his voice is so low.  CALEB!  Sorry.  Anyway...I'm so full.  Shouldn't have eaten that pie.  But it was so good..."Ugh, Cowboys.  I need more pie." (Caleb quote.  He's on twitter.)  Kyle's singing now...wish I had something with Joey in it.  Okay, think of something else, Katie...so...tired...maybe I should sleep...PEANUTS!  No idea where that came from, but now I want some, except (I can't spell anything tonight, half of this has been backspaced at some point and it's messing with my stream!) I'm so stuffed.  Hmmm...
     Okay, that's enough random for you guys, since it's your first introduction.  So yeah, I might do that sometimes just as a reminder to myself to write.  Have a nice day!



(...IT'S CALEB!)

From Whence the Blog Title Cometh

  "Lifeline" - Anthem Lights

  

  The water was getting higher and higher

My arms kept getting more and more tired

And the harder I would try, the further I would dive down

So I gave up and I finally let go

Stop trying to save myself and be my own hero

And when I opened my eyes, that's when I realized

You were there the whole time

Chorus:

I've got a lifeline

Waiting for me, ready to save

Lifeline

This is gonna be my escape

Lifeline

Never giving up on me

You are my lifeline

I thought that I was too far gone to be rescued

But it seems I underestimated You

It's nothing to You, it's too much for me

It's over my head, but it's under Your feet

Chorus:

Lifeline

Waiting for me, ready to save

Lifeline

This is gonna be my escape

Lifeline

Never giving up on me

You are my lifeline

Bridge:

Lifeline

I thought it was over

I thought I was through

Then I saw You and I knew

(This is gonna be my escape)

Lifeline

I thought it was over

I thought I was through

Then I saw You and I knew

(This is gonna be my escape)

Chorus: x2

I've got a lifeline

Waiting for me, ready to save

Lifeline

This is gonna be my escape

Lifeline

Never giving up on me

You are my lifeline

Lyrics courtesy of AZLyrics.com.

     So, I figured that while I am actually writing, I should probably explain how I got the title for my blog.  I could have named it anything - but I did not.  I chose "Lifeline Life," which by now you have probably deduced came from the song that I have posted the lyrics to.  That is an accurate deduction; bravo!  But it does not explain how the "Life" part made it into the blog title, or why I chose "Lifeline Life" over numerous potential candidates, like "Katie's Life" or "My Blog," or anything else equally boring and accurate.

     Naming a blog after a song that starts with desperation may seem odd, but it fits my life so perfectly.  See, I have this really annoying tenancy to worry and stress about stuff.  But you know what?  The more I worry and stress, the worse the situation appears, and the worse I feel.  The harder I try, the further I dive down.

     But when I give up and let go, He is there.  He is in control when I freak out, and He is in control when I turn over my fears and anxiety.  The only difference is how much peace I have.

     See, when a person is panicking and drowning, they cannot see the lifeline that is thrown to them.  My goal is to live a life so surrendered to God that I will always trust.  I never want to miss His lifeline.

     Now, I am not perfect, so of course I still stress about stuff.  (I was practically in tears the other night - I am definitely human.)  But every time I look at this blog title, I will be reminded that He is waiting to save me and will never give up.  It is over my head, but it is under His feet.  He is my lifeline.

     And He is what my life is about.

A New Attempt

     At the request of several people, I am starting a regular blog.  Technically, I could just convert my Panama blog, but instead I am starting over.  I have never been good at writing regularly, so this is something I need to work on; even if I only write every couple of weeks, I will try to be consistent.
     So, why am I starting this blog?  Basically, just to tell a bit about my life.  I currently live in Unalaska, Alaska, but I am preparing to leave for a six-month internship with the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, Missouri, and do not know when I will be back.  The purpose of this blog is to keep people up-to-date on what has been going on in my life, and to give me an outlet for those moments I just really want to write something random.
     If you are brave enough to join me on this, I applaud you.  Literally - here goes.  Did you hear it?  No?  Well, you will just have to take my word for it.
     So just settle in to read; check in every few weeks and see what's here.  And if you are ever tempted to picture me writing, picture me slouched in a big chair or on a bed leaning against a wall, with my laptop at a slant on my tucked-up knees; not sitting at a table with a cup of coffee.  I am not that organized.  And yeah, if you cannot tell yet, be prepared for random.
     And if you have to picture coffee, make it decaf.  I can live with decaf.