Reflections

2015

It’s a new year, and a new semester is about to start for all of us returning to IHOPU this spring. Because my blogging tends to revolve around what I learn at school, I thought that I’d do a look back on three of the biggest things God taught me last semester.

1. He’s got my back.

In my last post, I hinted about “my recent rescue from depression.” During a Friday night service, God radically broke in during a ministry time and after a good long while of crying and being prayed over, I was free. But even before He delivered me, God proved He would take care of me no matter what.

There were days when I had homework due in a few hours and the only thing I had enough energy to do was sleep. On those days, God gave me strength to do what I needed to do, and to do it well. Whether I was reading three chapters or writing a paper, He strengthened me and kept me awake and gave me the will to get through. Because of those days, I know that no matter what I’m going through, He’s got my back, and He always will.

2. Doubt about what I’m called to do doesn’t mean I’m doing the wrong thing.

I cannot begin to count the times I’ve wished I didn’t know God is calling me into leading worship. The story repeats itself: I’ll be given a sign that worship leading is what I’m called to do, so I’ll get all excited about it. Then I’ll actually lead, and end up really wishing I weren’t.

This past semester, God surrounded me with more worship leaders than I’ve ever hung out with before, and I found a common theme: all of us had days we didn’t want to lead. Even those who lead in the Global Prayer Room have more than the occasional day of not wanting to get on stage and lead a team! (It’s harder than you’d think, man.) But my human emotion, as well as theirs, should never dictate whether we listen to God or not.

Even on days I don’t want to lead, God meets me through words my team speaks or sings, or through watching someone engage with Jesus – He has even met me through NO ONE visibly engaging with the worship. I won’t let my doubt take away the joy of His calling.

3. It takes a season of singing to step out into ministry.

My beloved spoke and said to me, “Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me. See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land.”

- Song of Songs 2:10-12

I had received several prophesies before last semester about how it was time for “the season of singing.” My mind always went to this verse and assumed that meant it was time for God to call me into ministry in some way, so I became more and more confused as the semester went on and that didn’t happen. I mean, never mind that it took all my strength to just get through a normal day instead of curling up in bed and ignoring the world; surely that is what those multiple people with word-for-word the same prophesy had meant.

It wasn’t until I looked back at that verse post-depression that I realized what those prophesies really meant. See, the Beloved is calling His lover to come with Him AFTER the season of singing has started. “The winter is past; the rains are gone. Flowers appear on the ear; the season of singing has come.” Not only had the winter passed; it was long enough after the winter that the spring rains were over and there were flowers everywhere. A season of singing (aka, joy) doesn’t mean an immediate call to ministry because the season of singing must start before it is possible to do ministry. Ministry must come from a place of joy, not depression, or it results in burnout, and that is not what God wants for His bride.

It’s time for a new semester.

That is a sample of what God did in my life in just this past semester. In a little less than a week, the spring semester will start. I am looking forward to what He has planned for my life over the next four months, and can’t wait to share a bit of it with you again.

May God bless you over this new year. May 2015 be for you a season of being pulled deeper into His love. Have a great year!