(something that is in parenthesis in my journal)
[external note: something I've added later for clarification]
{selection removed from the middle of an entry for personal reasons}
underlined in my journal
This isn't everything from this time period; it's only what I chose to share.
Jan. 25, 2013
So, I've always thought Delirious?'s song "My Glorious" was, well, kinda awkward. Why call God, "my Glorious"?
Today in the IHOPU prayer room [external note: not the Global Prayer Room; IHOPU has their own on Fridays] the leader started singing, "You're my Glorious," and it clicked: God isn't just glorious, He's MY Glorious. Song of Solomon 2:16 "My Lover is mine and I am His" He's MY Glorious.
Jan. 26, 2013
Beautiful
I say you're beautiful
Beautiful
You are so beautiful
I'm overwhelmed
When I gaze into your eyes
I'm overwhelmed
'Cause I know that you are Mine
And you have no idea
What your love does to Me
So I will sing this song
Over you
You have ravished My heart
Beloved, My bride
You have ravished My heart
With one glance of your eyes
How delightful your love
Beloved, My bride
I long for your love more than
Finest of wine
In the same way I long to just look in your eyes
Won't you let Me come closer to look in your eyes?
Jan. 28, 2013
Earlier today, during one of my classes, Brandon Hammond [external note: he has this awesome quote, "The Bible's not boring, you're boring."] had us open with 10 minutes of praying in tongues. Those of us who don't, he said, should just say, "Jesus." He told us to focus on the Holy Spirit in us or on Jesus sitting at the right hand of the Father. So I closed my eyes, raised my hands, and proceeded to repeat "Jesus" however many times for the next 10 minutes.
You'll learn pretty quickly what your base emotion toward Jesus is if you repeat His name for 10 minutes while picturing Him. The more I said His name, the more longing and desperation crept into how I said it.
Not even half-way through, I saw Jesus lift me up into His lap. he sat cross-legged and I curled up there and clung to Him. We proceeded to have a conversation internally as I repeated His name externally.
{selection edited out}
I told Him I couldn't even cry over not feeling Him. When I finished, all Jesus said was, "I will teach you how to cry." He wouldn't explain or say anything else, no matter how much I asked.
Tonight, here in the prayer room, I cried over not feeling Him. There's a lot more in me, but it's a start. Jesus is teaching me how to cry.
Jan. 29, 2013
Yesterday, Jesus taught me how to cry. Today, He taught me joy.
Let me back up a bit. Last night, right before we went to bed, Bailee [external note: see previous posts for who Bailee is] said, "Tomorrow is going to be a good day." When I asked what was happening tomorrow, she said that she didn't know, but she had a feeling it would be really good.
Today (Tuesday) we had our first Burn class with Cory Russell. Someone asked me what Burn class is, and I said (from my memory of 2011) that it was where the Holy Spirit comes down and makes everyone go crazy. A slightly more accurate description is where the Holy Spirit floods the room and lights everyone on fire. (Yes, we can feel the burn.)
Today, besides burning us all, Holy Spirit released a fair taste of joy amongst us. Prophetess Bailee then made a comment at dinner that there would be a lot of joy in the prayer room tonight.
Right now, I'm having a hard time breathing. (Partly because I'm out of water and I don't want to leave the room to get more.) I always dance when I worship; no matter where we are, if I have room, I dance at least a little. But this time I was joined as most of the GPR [external note: Global Prayer Room] was flooding the isles with people dancing for joy. That went on for 1 1/2 to 2 hours. (I wasn't exactly checking my watch; I was dancing and trying to breathe.)
So I think that I'll sleep well tonight. That was fun. I hope we close with more of the same.
If you don't think solo acoustic guitar can carry energy, you should have seen the start of Ryan Kondo's set. (Yeah, that lasted through a leader switch.)
And you ain't seen the joy of God moving until you've seen the nations dancing together in praise.
Jan. 30, 2013
Well, I enjoyed the end of yesterday's prayer room. The whole room wasn't quite as effusive, though.
It's afternoon prayer room today. The leader, in the last song of the 2-4 set, sang, "Send Your glory, Lord, send it on down." When he started singing that, I immediately felt a little breeze hit my face (it's still going, actually, and I don't see any air vents where it's coming from). I thought something along the lines of, "Oh, how cute, a little sign of His presence." (Exaggerated, but similar.) I didn't hear a word, but I got the feeling that was way the wrong way attitude to have. It's got me thinking about what Aunty Betty told me about there not being such a thing as a little miracle; the very fact God loves us enough to do the miracle is astounding. The fact that Almighty God reveals His presence to humanity, even through a little breeze, is astonishing. At least, it should be.
"Your love alone will dethrone the dark and make known Your Son to come and light the spark to reignite the heart to stand tall and shout 'til every man knows Messiah."
- spontaneous rap chorus during prayer room
"He's a lot more interesting that us, but He never gets bored with you. He is fascinating beyond imagination, but we get bored with Him."
- Mike Bickle, Feb. 2, 2013 FCF Saturday service
Spontaneous lyrics durning FCF Feb. 2
"Keep your silver and your gold, your riches untold, 'cause all I want is Jesus."
"You are the vine and we are the branches; You are the Father of second chances. Come prune those branches inside of me that steal from Your glory."
No comments:
Post a Comment